Heartstrings

Today I felt a definite pull on my heartstrings. Not a subtle pull, but a full force tug.

I was shopping at Barnes & Noble and everything was fine. Got in line to pay, then I noticed a Valentine display.

Now, if you knew anything about my mom you would know that not a single Valentine's Day would pass without a card, a candy, and a kiss. It just wouldn't happen. And the tradition carried on with my children.

I digress.

I got out of line to grab a Valentine card for my granny. A sweet gesture, just like what my mom would have done. Got some chocolates too. But no matter where I looked there wasn't a single Granny card to be found. Only Mom cards.

Something made me reach out and grab it. The card.

The second I pulled it out I knew, that had it been this time last year my mom would have loved it.

Perfectly Mary Engelbreit. Her love, her passion, her Mary.

The I saw the writing. The same expression that my mom has posted in her sewing room.

A mother holds her childrens hands for awhile, their hearts forever.

It was perfect. So I bought it.

And by the time I reached the counter I was in full blown tears. The poor saleslady didn't know what to say, so she tried to make small talk. Poor saleslady. Must not be everyday that you get a blubbering fool at your counter.

I filled the card out, and went straight to the local P.O.

And after sitting in my car for what felt like an eternity, I mailed that card.

Right to my Granny's house. Because that is where my beautiful momma in her beautiful angel urn rests. And one day I will have her home with me. But for now, her momma, my granny needs her there.

And knowing my granny... she will consume the entire box of Godiva's while reading my card to my momma. And that, to me, is perfect.

Facebook aka StalkerBook

So let's face it. We love us some facebook. I love it too.
I love being able to chat with folks that a few years ago I would have never guessed would again be a part of my social circle.
Facebook allows us to reconnect, rekindle, re-live.
But, as I've come to discover, that's not always a good thing.

How many of you would appreciate a random message sent from an ex- of your spouse? Not too many huh? I figured as much.

Nor would I like it. But it's happened.

There should be some rule written in some golden book someplace that all ex's must agree to. Once a decade has come & gone, so should your contact with your ex-loved one's spouse. Right?

It seems facebook has opened an opportunity for said stalker to peruse my spouse/my own pages, and proceed to "friend" all of our family/friends. People that she USED to know. People that she may have had a connection with many years ago. And what is even more infuriating is the fact that these people, who don't have evil hearts like mine, have accepted this meaningless friends request.

Now, I can choose to take the higher road, like I always have (because truth be told, she is quite ghetto!). But I for a split second would like to play her game. Just to be a part of the scandal.
I would like to send her a friends request with a simple message attached:

"Hello, this is Valerie. The hubby's wife. You know me. You stalk me. And now let me make it easier for you to be a part of our lives, since that is so clearly, obviously, your intention. Be my friend. Come to our house, share a meal. Watch us play with OUR children. Then once you're done... MOVE ON! ".

I ended up having to delete my MySpace because of stalkers. And now I wonder, will I have to delete my Facebook too?

Calls Home

Today I realized that my "baby" is all grown up. Yup. Just like that.

All with a simple phone call.

As I chat with my dad I hear the pint sized boy begging to talk to me.

Then we had a full on conversation. First time. Ever. On the phone.

He usually just says hi and then hands the phone back. Not today.

We made plans to have a date later tonight, he told me what he was eating & how much he dislikes brown pillows (frosted shredded wheat bites).

And I was sad.

I don't think I am ready to lose another boy to adolescence.

Not when the eldest one has decided to venture off into a land called "Puberty" - without even asking me if I was ready!

Just one more year of baby is all I ask.

That way I can still tell people my extra baggage (ok, weight) is because I just had a baby.

3 years ago.

Mishaps

Ever had one of those days when things just seem to get all combubalated

(not a real word I'm sure) and you just can't get straight? Well today is one of those days.

The rain lulled me to sleep last night around 8:30 PM. So unusual for me.

And it kept on lulling me right thru until 6 AM. Yikes! My training session was scheduled at 5 AM.

Hmm, I think I will tell them I had a slight case of endosleepiosis.

So I rush out the door & speed off to work. And realize once I start to walk that I am wearing flip flops. Now, normally that would be the footwear of choice. But in the rain? I think not.

I call the hubby (who is also running late) and beg/implore him to please, please, please bring my boots to me and be even later to work.

"Of course honey, but you have to come down and give me a kiss". Not a problem.

As I stand and wait for the slowest elevator ever I see my honey opening my car door, and sticking said boots inside. Oh no, please don't leave without my kiss!

After what seems like an eternity I make it outside. He is at the traffic signal ready to turn.

But he sees me. Standing there waiting, pleading for my kiss.

So he does what I would expect & proceeds to back up.

Right into a car!!! Why would this lady make an illegal u-turn behind him when he is trying to make an illegal reverse move??

Why I say?

Jump to the end of the story.

Our car is fine. Her car is smooshed. She appears to not have a license - so her husband (named Mohammed) implores us to let her leave.

No problemo.

And then I got my kiss.

My Wish List, for today

Pin-Up Hair http://static.becomegorgeous.com/gallery/pictures/hair_set_wideweb__430x255.jpg

New Rain Boots
http://www.kaboodle.com/reviews/hello-kitty-rain-boots-retro--adult-size

A Shiny Pair of Sandals ... for my
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3088626?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=predictivesearch&keyword=ugg+australia&origin=searchresults

Shiny New Toes!!
http://sg.88dbmedia2.jobsdb.com/sg_UploadFiles/2008/10/21/9A949FD5-A94F-4649-A3BD-CFDDFBD79D0B.JPG

Okay, so I completely LIED about the last one!

Weekend of Reflection

I love being a mom. I know, everyone with kids is supposed to say this. But I really mean it.
For so long I tried to be the lady that "hated" kids. I guess I secretly hoped that by being that lady I wouldn't lost my cool factor, and would be able to stay young. But I succombed.
I love it.
I love waking up in the morning and getting a funky-breathed kiss from a munchkin. Or having someone jumping on me and hitting my old creaky joints with their toy train. Or hearing my older, much wiser son asking me how long until breakfast will be ready, since I'm officially lazy for sleeping until 8 AM when there are children to feed.
I love it.

But even more than that, I love being a wife. I love the satisfaction of cooking a homemade meal for the man in my life that works so hard every day to provide for us. I love folding laundry (even though I may choose to gripe about it at the time) and putting clothes away. I love waiting to watch terrible reality shows on our DVR (aka: Jersey Shore) late at night, because we can't watch it until we are both home and in bed.

I love that the date night we planned on Saturday consisted of a beautiful dinner out. A dinner that all we could do was talk about our kids. And when it came time to see the movie, we got out of line and left. Yes, left. We both knew where we would rather be. So we headed to Cinnabon (for the kids of course, bad for my ass, I know) and called home. Just to make sure they were still awake. Because what we both really wanted was to be sharing our time with our kids.

And this weekend as we were trapped inside in the rain, and life's pace slowed down just enough to help me reflect on this, I realized. I love it all. Because it means that my life is full of love and family and I am not alone. I have all these wonderful people to share it with.

And I love it.

It all began

I'm a lurker. No, not a creepy perv type lurker. But a lurker, no less.
I have always enjoyed reading other peoples blogs - but never had an interest in writing my own.
Until now.

It seems to me that everyone journals, blogs, etc. in an attempt to keep track of things.
Their childrens development, their weight loss, their travels (jealous), the purchases they make, the food they consume, etc.

So I have jumped on the blogger bandwagon.

I must warn you: I love profanity. Not in a disgusting, vulgar way. But more of an expressive way. It helps me to fully emphasize my emotions.
If you are still with me that means you either don't mind it or you too are screaming "Shit yeah, keep it real". Okay, probably not at 7:30 AM.

It all began 6 months ago when I lost my mom.
Not to go into descriptive accounts of what happened, but it was unexpected and quite too early.
But it put me in a place to start questioning my own mortality.
My health. Not so good.
My weight. Not so good on that one either.
My active-ness. Non existent.

I had become a slug.

I was one of those girls that I used to look at and think (and sometimes actually say aloud) "Look at that fat bitch. Why would she let herself get so big?". Now some of you are probably going to be quite offended. I too am actually quite offended at some of things that used to come out of my mouth/mind. So bear with me. I apologize. But I'm keeping it real.
And now I am that fat girl. Yuck.

So that brings me back to my mortality. I don't want to die. I don't want the diabetes. I don't want the heart disease. I don't want my kids to say to me what the pint-sized one said that December day; As we lay in bed & he proceeds to kiss my belly "Hi baby. Mommy is it a boy or a girl?".

Done. He had sealed the deal for me. I promptly packed my gym bag and made sure to put it in my car.

The next day I read a post on a blog about someone that had recently started running. She put into words how I had been feeling the past few years.
A very cool blogger, whom I have taken to reading daily. Check it out:
http://number17cherrytreelane.blogspot.com/2009/12/myself-and-pavement-pushing-past-fear.html

So that is when I decided to run. Not for speed. Not for time. But for health. And run I have.
Every.Other.Day.
Since December 28, 2009.
Not long, but a step towards health.
And self esteem.
And will power.
And pride.
All things that I have been lacking.

And that brings me to today. My second day of training with the hubby. With a real personal trainer. A person that will hold both the hubby & I accountable.
For our exercise, our health, and what we put in our mouth. (Hmm, almost rhymed there).

Now, for resolution #2. Stop the swearing.